


Saints of Gold

by Astrumiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major death but happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:16:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrumiel/pseuds/Astrumiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end it’s not the forces of Hell that come rebelling against him, nor is it a group of hunters as he had though it would be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saints of Gold

        In the end it’s not the forces of Hell that come rebelling against him, nor is it a group of hunters as he had though it would be. In the end it was a group of wayward angel who had cornered him in a demon trap of their own device. A ring of holy fire burning not from holy oil but from a mixture of sacramental wine and the blood of an innocent firstborn at the foot of an alter in a long since abandoned church. It made sense only that could hold one twisted and scarred by the Mark of Cain. In the end it was all so much worse than he imagined not because he had been cornered by the King of Hell or an Archangel it was because the four ragged celestial beings had forced a dying Castiel with them.

        “Finish him off and we can replace the grace that Metatron tore from you.” One of them whispered in a slimy voice.

        “Dispose of this filth and you will be welcomed back into the ranks of the Host, your sins will be forgiven Castiel.” Another added smoothly handing him a small blade while holding tightly on to his own sword, just to be sure he was safe.

        “Take the dagger Castiel it is one of Raguel’s weapons it will not fail you.” The third told him watching almost with pity as the fallen Castiel sank to his knees.

Not a moment passed when their leader flicked the hand of his earth bound vessel and jerked Castiel back into standing position forcing the blade into his hands with another movement.

        “We have no time for your sentiment Castiel.” This angel’s voice was the coldest of winds that froze the darkest reaches of space. “Redeem yourself and you will become an angel again, just as you wanted.” It spoke with a falsely sweet edge it was a spoon of poison, dipped in sugar long since soured.

Dean watched this all silently against a blade of a common angel he had no need to fear death, not while the Mark of Cain still burned his flesh and the smoke of hell bound his soul.

This however was one of the blades of the Avenging Archangel. This was one of the few things Dean knew could kill him.

        A sharp pained breath brought him back to focus as he watched the leader raise is vessel’s hand to shove Castiel forward. He stumbled only to be lifted up again by the grace of another angel, this time gently with pity. Castiel found himself a few steps short of Dean, only the angel’s trap separating them.  The flames only rose a few inches off the ground and Castiel stepped over them with a pained sound though nothing touched him.

        “Act quickly Castiel, the spawn of Hell wouldn’t spare you a moment.” The first one called.

Dean shot him a look of black eyed loathing.

        “Castiel do it now or I shall do it by your hand.” The leader said with a measured voice.

Dean doesn’t know what the idiot is waiting for he has the promise of angelhood and forgiveness. All he has to do is plunge a bit of whatever it is that dagger is made from into Dean’s waiting chest.  Why is he hesitating?

        “Dean” the voice is ragged as though he hasn’t used it in months or as if he had been screaming for mercy for equally as long. Dean doesn’t know which is worse. Wait where did this sentiment of caring come from? Especially for a fallen and broken thing like Castiel.

        “Dean Winchester _look at me.”_ Castiel demands it almost as if his voice were breaking. Castiel is much closer now standing over Dean whose hands are still bound behind him by the combined grace of the angels standing guard. Dean can see the dried blood stains on his chest, whatever the angels had done would be healed soon when they replenished his grace.

        Dean looks up and for just a moment the perfect sneering bravado slips, his eyes turn green as late spring grass dappling in the sun, tired and defeated. ‘It’s alright’ they seem to say ‘do it I forgive you for it.’  He gives Castiel a small nod.

With a shaking hand Castiel lifts the dagger.

        “I’m sorry Dean.” He lets out and there’s no question, there are tears in the fallen angel’s eyes.  The dagger comes down in a graceful arch and plunges deep into fresh human flesh, into a beating heart of an angel who cared too much.

        “CASTIEL!” Dean feels a rush of fury wash over him as he wrenches himself free of his bindings. He catches Castiel as he falls on last time to earth.

There’s a commotion of wings and the other angels flee fearing that the Knight of Hell will break out of the trap and come after them.

        “CAS- Cas no please.” Dean yanks the blade out and feels it sting his skin with its holy nature. His hand shakes as he checks for a pulse but to no avail, Castiel had always been a fantastic marksman.

        “Cas” he tries again for a moment he thinks that by some miracle he’s succeeding as he hears a hiss. It’s quickly dashed as he recognized the hiss of pain as his own. Angel wing impressions are being burned into his skin as he holds Castiel in his arms like a twisted Pieta.  It should mean something to him, after all only angel’s burn wings into the earth when they die, so perhaps Castiel had been forgiven by heaven after all.  

        “You stupid angel you couldn’t have just killed me like you were supposed to could you?” He demands his human emotions; pain, sentiment, grief and love swirling sharp vibrant and bright within him chasing away the darkness. In a moment he felt almost human, almost righteous. Then it all comes crashing down as reality hits him. He draws the cooling body in closer and rocks back and forth lightly as dry sobs wrack through his frame. Demons can’t really cry after all.

Sometime around dawn he finally gets up and lays Castiel’s body in the first pew and covers it with a yellowed alter cloth. He lights the stubs of the candles left in the church for good measure. Each action paining him, ripping at his demonic nature yet he continues on.

Light pours in though the broken stained glass window onto the first pew and Dean follows its light kneeling down and clasping his hands he closed his eyes bows his head and begins to pray. His words are whispers and each holy word is a razor on his tongue soon he’s swallowing mouthfuls of blood but he continues on. First little basic prayers, then the words that priest carefully lay over the dead at funerals. After he runs out of those he begins to recite a Latin mass then the rosary, by then his tongue his caked in dry blood no longer bleeding as he continues on and on. Time is of no consequence to him as he prays all through that day and into the night and again into the light of dawn.

 

 

        That’s how Sam finds him days later. He doesn’t know what force led him to stumble upon the church but after days of trying to track Dean down again he hadn’t expected this. He stands at a side door watching is brother, a demon by certain rights but his brother none the less, praying over a shrouded figure. It doesn’t take Sam long to figure out whose body lies in the pew, the wing scorch marks are enough, besides his brother’s prayers have turned from Latin to English a while ago and they sound different now.

        “Mom told me when I was a kid that angels were watching over me.  .  . I guess I never really knew how much I owed you but if it means anything at all I’d give anything to have you back right now. Just for a moment.”

He pauses for a ragged breath and continues.

        “You and Sammy were some of the best parts of my life, I know I didn’t deserve you two but I suppose the selfish part of me is glad I got to have you two in my life anyway.”

        “There were so many times where I just wanted to say it.” 

“There were so many times when I should have said it because at the very least you deserved to know, even if you deserved so much better than me.”

“I was going to tell you, you know, that day after we stopped at the grove after the vamp case. I almost told you then. I wish I had.”

“I almost said it after we trapped Raphael.”

“I was so close that night we were all sitting on the motel balcony in Wisconsin.”

Dean’s voice breaks as he continues on, his eyes beginning to prickle with tears he can’t shed.

“I should have told you before Stull Commentary.”

“Before we took on Dick Roman.”

“I should have said it a million times when I found you in Purgatory, maybe you would have left with me then.”

Sam watches his brother a moment more before he too sinks down and offers his own silent prayers.

“I should have told you the moment you came back; you needed to know you belonged because without you I was breaking.”

“Cas I-“ Dean starts but saying the name breaks him and tears burn trails over his cheeks as they fall his heart squeezes painfully.

“I came so close in that crypt but I was such a coward.”

“I never should have asked you to leave, especially not after you fell.” A full sob stops him for a moment, the pain is sharper now but the words still tumble down with the tears.

“I wanted to pull you in and whisper it when I saw you a few weeks later. I should have told you everything from the first moment I knew.” Dean confessed.

 

        “Love is the strangest force on this little marble of a planet.” A voice behind Sam mutters.

Sam whips around unbelievingly. Before he can stand the Archangel Gabriel is putting a hand on his shoulder. Miss me?” Gabriel asks with a small smile before turning more serious.

        “You and your brother have been through some of the worst shit imaginable and yet you two still care for each other. I think it’s time you freed him of his burden.” Gabriel said, his voice soft and lacking the usual teasing edge.

        “Gabriel. . . how?” Sam didn’t know where to start. The Archangel was alive? What was he doing here? A million more questions buzzed in his head but his voice settled on one. “How do I help him Gabe?”

The archangel flashed him a trickster’s smile and nodded to the two figures Sam hadn’t noticed standing next to him. One was aglow in the light of heaven like a spirit the other solid, tired and ancient but altogether human looking.

        “Samuel I am Able and this is my brother Cain.” The spirit told him.

        “You can break the curse of the Mark can’t you?” Sam asked in awe of the moment.

        “Neither I nor my brother can break it now.” Cain told him

        “That power lies with you and your brother alone.” Able said before Sam could begin to protest.

        “You must both learn to truly forgive that which is to be forgiven of each other, to forgive the sin that still binds the mark to your brother.” Cain said.

        “You understand that which is being asked of you, do you not Samuel?” Abel asked.

        “Yeah, I think I do.” Sam replied steadily as he faced the church again and saw in silent wonder that it was no longer occupied by just Dean. In the light beams of the church windows they moved slightly almost out of sight. Sam could see them as they kept silent vigil.

        “Yeah Sammy they’re all here for you guys.” Gabriel told him placing a soft hand on his back.

        “Mom and Dad?” Sam asked.

        “They’re here kiddo.”

        “Jess and Bobby and Adam?”

        “All here Sammy, I think it’s time we set things right.” Gabriel said.

Sam gave him a nod and walked slowly towards his brother. That was all he had needed to know. He knelt down next to Dean and took advantage of his pause to put in a prayer of his own, aloud this time.

        “Cas I never got to thank you, you save our asses so many times and you never asked for anything in return… You always were a part of this family and I miss you brother.” Sam said solemnly.

        “Sammy when did you . . .?” Dean’s asks his wrecked voice breaking off as he looks up at his brother.

Sam glanced over to his broken brother and felt his insides twist. Dean’s lips were cracked and bloodied, his face streaked with tears. His eyes were red from the tears he had shed and the green of his human eyes stood out in stark contrast. The tears that escaped seemed to be tinged with ash as if he had cried every bit of the demon smoke out and cleansed his eyes.  After all demons didn’t cry.

         “Dean look I know that our whole lives you did your best to look after me and you did what you thought was best to keep me safe and alive.” Sam began pulling to mind everything he still held against his brother which he should not hold against him. “Some things  that you did saved my life I saw then as punishment rather than reward.” In his mind’s eye he sees the memories clouded with anger lose their red haze. Some memories are his own while others are ancient and distant they feel like his own yet he knows they are not, these are Abel’s memories. “Some of the things you did for me to keep me safe I never appreciated. Some of these things you still believe to be your sins and I want you to know.” Sam paused and put a hand on the Mark of Cain on Dean’s arm.

        “Dean Winchester you are for your sins against me forgiven.” Sam declared. “Can you forgive me for my sins against you?” he asked timidly.

        “Sam” Dean began clear tears now flowing down his cheeks.

        “Sam Winchester you are my brother and as you forgave me so I forgive you.” Dean whispers with quiet unshakable certainty.

Underneath his fingertips Sam feels the Mark shrink and cool until it’s almost gone, it lingers however and he knows why.

        “Dean you have to learn to forgive yourself as well man, it’s going to feed off your self-loathing if you can’t.” Sam tells him kindly.

        “I can’t do that Sammy, what I’ve done, and all the things I should have done . . . it’s unforgivable.” Dean tells him turning his tired eyes and tired voice towards the body in the pew.

        “Dean he knew you loved him and in the end whatever choices he made were his own. If he did this of his own free will then you can’t blame yourself for it.” Sam said.

Dean let those words wash over him before clasping his hands in prayer again.

  
        “Cas I should have told you this every day, but I didn’t so I’m saying it now.” Dean let his head sink down into his hands, Sam stood up and retreated back to where the Archangel stood meaning to ask ‘Now what?’ but the Archangel just shook his head and gestured back to the scene.

        “Cas I think I loved you from the start, I think I loved you when you first arrived to look for what was left of my shattered soul in Hell. I remember it now, bits of it all. I knew I loved you then I know I love you know and. . . .” Dean falter as a wind outside the church picks up. “I’ll love you as long as it’s possible to love you and then I’ll keep loving you because you deserve that.”

 

He lifts his head up and nearly faints, only Hell could be this cruel.

 

        “This is not Hell Dean, they could never stand as much prayer or kindness in their midst, that’s why your soul shone so brightly my righteous man. You always loved too much to be taken completely by Hell.” Castiel said standing in front of him, wavering in and out of focus.

        “Cas I couldn’t stop you, I couldn’t save you.” Dean told him voice thick with grief.

        “I made my own choice, and in the end I do believe it was the right one, even if it is not going quite how I had thought it would.” Castiel told him.

Dean simply stared at him longingly trying to drink it all in before he vanished.

        “Dean if you want me to comeback all you have to do is ask.” Castiel told him. “I you want me to stay just let me know.”

There is still a body laying beneath the alter cloth in the pew yet the glowing being that is Castiel leans forward over it and rests his hand on Deans tear streaked cheek. It feels like being caressed by sunlight.

        “You have proved yourself righteous again Dean, no other before has ever broken Hell’s hold on their soul.” Castiel said wiping the tears away with the pad of his thumb feeling more solid and substantial than before. “ol g-chis-ge ol baltoh ollor od olani hoath ol” Castiel whispers in Enochian and Dean gasps with understanding before his face falls again.

        “Cas I’m still a demon, a knight of Hell. I can’t be righteous.” Dean replies weary. “You were always the righteous and good one.”

In lieu of answering Castiel takes Dean’s hand and places it over his chest. To Dean’s great surprise he finds his heart stuttering a slow beat which speeds up when realization hits him. What he had taken for nothing more than the pain of loss was his heart starting a new beat.

        “Demons hearts don’t beat, nor can demons shed tears or speak prayers in Latin.” Castiel tells him bringing his forehead to touch Dean’s gently. “Your own humanity saved you.”

        “I’m not a demon?”

        “No.”

        “I’m not cursed. . ?” Dean ventures.

        “You are not, you are simply and wonderfully human.” Castiel tells him twining his fingers between Dean’s as their hands rest over his beating, living heart.

 

        “Cas would you really stay if I asked you to? Do you want to stay here? Wouldn’t you rather be an angel again?” Dean asked him.

        “I made my choice a long time ago and I have made it again and again, if you’ll have me I’ll never leave your side.” He answers.

        “Then Cas. . . I need you to know that I need you, I need you to know you matter and that you are family.” He takes a shuddering breath of oxygen and funny how out of practice it feels but he’s never been more grateful for the strange sensation. “ You are family, I need you, I love you please stay.”

Castiel nods lightly and promptly sags against him as if all his strength had been sapped.

        “CAS!?” Dean springs up, every joint protesting the movement after days of kneeling and going without food or water his head spins momentarily. He’s on the other side of the pew in a second, there lays a slumped over Castiel the alter cloth that had covered his body before lays folded on the edge of the pew.”

        “Cas c’mon buddy I just asked you to stay and you bail on me?” Dean asked fear rising up as he cradles Castiel close.  He was warm to the touch but without breath.

        “He’s newly human Dean, he still needs that first breath of life to get him started.” Gabriel says from behind him. As he says it Dean feels a divine warmth bloom in him.

He leans forward and brings his lips gently to Castiel’s slightly parted ones and presses their lips together feeling the spark of life travel through him and into Castiel.  He waits and for a few dread filled seconds nothing happens.

Then he feels a soft first breath against his lips and lets out his own breath.

        “Dean.”

        “I’m right here.”

        “I can see that.”Castiel says against his lips and leans in to brush his lips against Deans, sighing in pure joy when they catch and get pulled in for a deeper kiss. Nothing in heaven could compare.

 

They’re slow to return to their surroundings; after all as far as first kisses go they have a lot of missed moments to make up for. It’s Castiel who notices them from the corner of his eye.

        “Dean look.” He says between kisses.

They separate enough to look around them. Everywhere the later afternoon sun hit stood glowing figures. Around them stood a whole host of familiar faces and not just ones who had been human, next to his parents stood Adam and a familiar face Dean had a hard time giving a name to.

        “Samandriel” Castiel gasped quietly

A little ways away stood Inais next to Benny and a rather pleased looking Pamela who had her arm linked with his.

        “It’s time we set things right.” Gabriel said walking towards them with Sam who had finally had a chance to speak to Jess again; he looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  “I thought it was time to give all the souls trapped in between spaces and in places like purgatory some peace.”

        “So you’re in charge of Heaven now?” Dean asked.

        “Something like that but not quite, think of it as a temporary paid internship.” Gabriel said sounding more like the Archangel had when they first met. “With almost all the perks of the real job.” He said then he pulled a honey cake out of thin air just because he was Gabriel.

        “Oh and I think you guys earned an easier life, no more apocalypses ok?” Gabriel said “In fact I got you guys a little slice of prime real-estate.” He says with a smirk handing a set of keys to Castiel.

Before they can protest he spreads his wings, huge and iridescent the fill the church with honey and amber colored light. “Think of it as an early wedding gift little bro!” Gabriel says before he vanishes and one by one as the sun fades the spirits vanish too.

        “Son of a bitch.”Dean mutters overwhelmed as he takes it all in. Suddenly there’s a crushing force on him and he’s being hugged by Cas and then a moment later by Sam.

        “I can’t believe I’m saying this but we actually made it.” Sam said laughing and just like that they were all breaking down in laughter over nothing in particular.

It’s evening when they leave the church and walk out to the car, Dean groans when he sees how dirty he’s let the frame of his car become but it’s just another part of life.

        “I’ll help you clean her up tomorrow Dean.” Cas promises and Dean grins at that though.

        “Sounds good Cas, now where are we off to?” Dean asks as nodding to the keys Gabriel gave them as Sam walks by and rolls his eyes and gets in the Impala.

        “Kansas I believe, there’s a house on the edge of a small town that needs a family.”

Kansas it is Dean says pulling Cas in for a quick kiss before he ducks his head down shyly.

        “I still can’t believe you’re staying and that this is all real. It seems like too good of a dream.” Dean admits.

        “It’s real Dean, and it will be real tomorrow and every day after.” Cas tells him pulling him into the back seat and settling next to him before making him hand the keys of to Sam. “You just spent three days without food or sleep.” Cas reminds him. “Sam is driving.”

        “Fine, but I’m not letting you go until we get there.” He replies settling his head on Castiel’s shoulder.”

        “I’m never letting you go.” Cas promised him before turning to Sam “Let’s head home.” In the quiet of the evening an engine roars to life as three tired warriors head home at last.

**Author's Note:**

> The Enochian translates to: "You are my Righteous Man and I love you."
> 
> Comments are very greatly appreciates and I love feedback and kudos!
> 
> Un-beta'd so mistakes are my own.


End file.
